


Ghosts Crowd The Young Child's Fragile Eggshell Mind

by spookyfbi



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dave Katz needs a hug, If I Was Writing This Now I Definitely Would Have, Klaus Hargreeves & David "Dave" Katz During Vietnam, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Sees Dead People, M/M, Why Didn't I Make Them Hug?, Why Didn't I Make Them Kiss?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyfbi/pseuds/spookyfbi
Summary: When Dave’s father dies, he tries to pass on a message through Klaus, and Dave wonders why Klaus is so afraid of the ghosts.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58





	Ghosts Crowd The Young Child's Fragile Eggshell Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before I really had a solid idea about Dave's character and his dynamic with Klaus. I don't really feel like what I've written here tells with what I have in my head about them anymore, but this was my first Klave fic and I wanted to archive it.

“…Klaus…”

“…Klaus…”

The strained voices screamed out to him as he lay in the cot, in a tent shared by a dozen or so other men. He tried to get his shaky breathing under control. Tonight was a particularly bad night. After a few more moments, he tossed aside his blanket and left the tent. 

“Shut up!” he whispered when he felt like he was far enough away from the others to not be heard. “Shut up! Just leave me the fuck alone!” He took out a joint from his pocket and brought it to his lips. The contraband was difficult to come by here, but not impossible. It was always available when they went on leave, along with any other vice the men could imagine, to keep up morale. But they weren’t supposed to bring it back into the trenches. They had to keep a clear head out here. Still, Klaus knew a thing or two about smuggling drugs around. He lit a match, but a sudden voice spoke words that made him drop it to the muddy ground.

“…Tell Dave…”

He took the joint from his mouth. “What?! Who said that?”

“…Tell Dave… Important…”

“Tell Dave what?”

“…Please tell Dave-“

“…Klaus…”

“…Klaus…”

“… Where’s my Mommy?”

“…Fuck that whore…”

“…What a pretty boy you are…”

The voices began to drown each other out and they all began to jumble together. Klaus covered his ears as the voices grew louder. “Shut up just please shut up!” he whispered through clenched teeth. He tried to focus on that one voice that mentioned Dave but he couldn’t make it out anymore. Who was it? What did it want to tell Dave? Klaus took in a deep, shaky breath. He swallowed hard as he looked at the joint between his fingers. He wanted to light it up so badly, to make the voices all go away. But that one voice had something important it wanted to tell Dave. What was it? Klaus put the joint back into his pocket. Maybe if he held out just a little bit longer he’d be able to make out the whole message. The joint would still be there tomorrow. Just a little bit longer, then he’d take a blissful drag to silence them all again.

———

The next morning the Captain called Dave into his office, and Klaus felt a weight in the pit of his stomach. The voices were still screaming, they had been all night, but none of them were telling him anything he wanted to hear. When Dave returned, he looked pale. He walked to his cot like a man possessed, staring blankly in front of him. He sat down on his cot, still staring at nothing and barely blinking. The dread in Klaus’ stomach grew.

The other men left the tent for their morning routine, but Klaus hung back, not really caring much if it got him into trouble. He sat down gently on the cot beside Dave

“Dave…?” he asked, and Dave began to stir. He turned his head slightly towards Klaus, but his eyes continued to stare.

“My father…” he whispered, “… had a heart attack. He’s dead.”

Klaus’ heart sank. His own father’s death had been a cause for celebration in his eyes, but clearly that wasn’t the case for Dave. He put his hand gently on Dave’s forearm. “I’m so sorry” he whispered.

“I’ve been given a week leave to attend the funeral and be with my family. I have to pack…” 

Dave still hadn’t moved or even looked away from the nothingness ahead of him. “Here, let me help you” Klaus said, glad to have something useful to do. He took Dave’s suitcase from the end of his cot and started packing up Dave’s belongings.

Dave looked like he was trying to tear his eyes away from the nothingness but having a hard time of it. “Thanks” he choked out.

Klaus busied himself folding up Dave’s clothes and putting them into the suitcase. Then he paused, holding one of Dave’s shirts. “Do you want me to go with you to the funeral?” It was a stupid question, Klaus realised once he’d said it. Would they even let him? How would they explain it? But under other circumstances, if they were living together somewhere as civilians in 2019, it would be a natural question for a supportive boyfriend to ask.

Dave closed his eyes and nodded, sighing. Then he opened them and finally looked at Klaus for the first time that day. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea” he whispered sadly. Klaus nodded.

“Okay well, you’re just about all packed up.” Klaus said as he finished folding the shirt he was holding and put it in the suitcase.

“Thanks” Dave said again, and Klaus lowered the suitcase lid and closed the clasps.

“Don’t worry about it” Klaus waved, then he put his hand comfortingly on Dave’s knee.

Suddenly, the Captain came back into the tent, and Klaus quickly withdrew his hand. “You ready to go, Katz?” he asked with an odd mixture of authority and sympathy.

Without looking at Klaus, Dave took his suitcase and stood up. “Yes sir,” he said, and he followed the Captain. Klaus quickly got changed into his uniform and joined the other men.

———

The day had been hard without Dave, and without that joint he hadn’t smoked last night, but at least he had the other men, oh and the war and the need to stay alive, to distract him. Klaus was focussed enough on the tasks at hand to ignore the voices. But that night was a different story. He hadn’t slept the previous night but he was still running on adrenaline, so he wasn’t really tired. And the voices were still there, loud as ever. He left the tent again and walked a distance so he could talk.

“Dave’s dad? Are ya there?” He took the joint from his pocket again. “If you’ve got something important to tell him, now’s the time. I’m not going another night without this.”

“…Tell Dave…”

There it was. Finally. “Are you Dave’s dad?”

“…Yes…”

“Alright, so what’s the message? Tell Dave what?” Klaus was getting impatient. He was itching to light up

“…Tell Dave…”

“Yeah yeah yeah, tell Dave what? Come on old man, I don’t have all night.”

“…I love him…”

Klaus was a bit annoyed. Was that it? That didn’t seem particularly important or urgent. “Okay, tell Dave you love him, that it?”

“… I’m proud of him…”

“Tell Dave you love him and you’re proud of him, got it. Anything else…?”

Silence.

Klaus stuck the joint between his lips and took out the box of matches. His struck a match against the box. “Last chance…”

“…Thank you…”

The other voices grew louder again, so Klaus lit up the joint and took a nice long drag. And then another. And then another. And slowly the voices faded. By the time Klaus had finished, the voices were no louder than the crickets chirping, and he was finally able to relax.

———

When Dave returned, he was a bit more like his old self. He accepted the condolences of the other men and slipped back into the normal army routine. Klaus knew he had to talk to him, to pass on his father’s message, but the words felt awkward in his mouth. How should he go about saying this? He couldn’t just go up to Dave and blurt out ‘hey Dave, I spoke with your dad, he loves you and he’s proud of you.’ Klaus tried to imagine what it might be like to have a father who was capable of love, of pride, of any emotion really, and how he might like to be told that if he had any expectation or desire of hearing these words. The concept was so foreign to him. He ended up avoiding Dave all day, which wasn’t difficult. Dave seemed pretty distracted himself.

That night Klaus was woken by a rustling sound from Dave’s cot. He saw Dave get up and leave the tent. Okay, now’s the time then. He got up and followed Dave, hoping the words would be there in his brain by the time he caught up.

When Dave stopped, Klaus slowed down. “Hey…” he whispered. 

Dave turned his head slightly. “Hey” he replied, but didn’t turn around.

“If you want to be alone I can go back…” Klaus offered, unable to read whether or not his presence was welcome right now.

“No, it’s okay” Dave said, and he did turn around this time, and leaned against a nearby tree, folding his arms.

Klaus slowly approached him. “How was it?”

“Yeah, it was a beautiful service. My brother gave a touching eulogy” Klaus nodded and stood next to him. Dave sighed and focussed on a branch stuck in the dirt, nudging it gently with his foot. “I never really felt like I fit in with my family. I always felt like… they could tell there was something…” he glanced briefly at Klaus and then looked back down, “…different about me. Y’know? I was terrified they’d find out. I enlisted in the army so I could prove to them that I was still a man. So they wouldn’t know I was… I guess all guys like us worry about that, huh?”

“Oh, sure” Klaus said, but that hadn’t been his experience at all. Reginald would’ve been just as disappointed whether Klaus was having a picnic with his siblings, or making out with a boy, or starting a fire, if it occurred outside of the designated half hour a week they had for fun and games, so he never felt the need to hide anything about who he was. Until he landed in 1968, of course. And even here his efforts were half hearted at best. More for Dave’s benefit than his own.

“I just wish…” Dave closed his eyes and shook his head. “I don’t know what I wish…”

“Your dad was proud of you, Dave. And he loved you.” The words felt a bit less awkward now, more like an answer to a question Klaus knew Dave was trying and failing to ask.

“Yeah, that’s what I try to tell myself…”

“No, I mean he really is. He told me.” Dave shot Klaus a sharp look, then. It wasn’t that he didn’t know Klaus could talk to ghosts. At least, Klaus had told him a while ago. But maybe he hadn’t believed it. Maybe he just thought the voices Klaus heard were only in his head. “He came to me and he told me to tell you that he loves you and that he’s proud of you.”

“Are you fucking with me, Hargreeves?”

“No! No, he really did, I swear! Trust me, I wish he hadn’t.”

Dave let out a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob. “Did he know? Did he know that I’m…?” He let the sentence linger. Dave never liked to put any actual word to his sexuality. Klaus wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t know the word for it, or if using a word for it would make it too real for him. Either way, Klaus accepted Dave’s reluctance to use a label.

“He didn’t say.”

“Is he still here now?

“No.” Klaus felt a slight pang of… guilt? “No, I smoked a joint so I can’t hear anything now.”

Dave nodded and took a moment to let it all sink in. Then he breathed out a laugh. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Maybe he had an epiphany when he died.”

“Maybe…” Klaus said. Fuck if he knew what motivated the dead.

“Or maybe he was just always proud of me and he never told me…”

“Maybe…” Klaus wasn’t sure which Dave would’ve preferred. 

Dave looked at him fully now. “Thank you, Klaus.”

Klaus looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Hey, it was nothing, don’t mention it.”

“I know how much you hate hearing them” Dave said softly.

Klaus shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable that the attention was on him now. He looked up at the stars, not at anything in particular but just for something to look at. “Happy to do it” he said, with much less conviction than he would’ve liked.

The two men stood there for a few moments before Dave broke the silence. “Klaus, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Why do you hate hearing them so much? Y’know, I don’t think they’re as scary as you think. They’re just people who want to want to talk to their loved ones one last time. You could help them. What are you so afraid of? They can’t hurt you.”

“Not physically…” Klaus found himself fishing another joint from his pocket. He wasn’t planning on smoking it just yet, he knew he should probably save it for later, when he really needed it. But his heart was suddenly thumping and he heard the blood rushing in his ears and his stomach was doing flip flops and his hands were shaking and he just needed to relax before Dave saw how much the question had unsettled him. He took the joint between his lips and lit up, inhaling deeply.

Dave looked at Klaus, the earnest expression he wore urging him to go on.

Klaus could think of a million jokes he could say. If it were anyone else asking he’d pick one and be done with the conversation. But Dave was so earnest, so kind, so unguarded with his own emotions that it made Klaus want to reciprocate in kind. For the first time in his life, Klaus felt like he could share his deepest fears and not end up trapped in a mausoleum for his trouble, or something similar.

“I knew things as a kid…” Klaus cleared his throat, not sure if his trembling voice was even audible. “…that no little kid should have to know. A little girl who was kidnapped and left for dead. She didn’t even know she was dead, she just wanted her mom. A man who beat his wife to death and then shot himself. All he wanted to do was tell his kids how much of a slut he thought she was, because she was cheating on him. A psychopathic murderer who was just executed. He took great joy in telling me in excruciating detail what he’d like to do to me if he was still alive.” Klaus felt a tear escape his eye and he wiped it away quickly. He had many more stories like this, but he figured he’d said enough for Dave to understand.

“Klaus…” Dave whispered gently. “Shit… I’m so sorry.”

“They’re not all like your dad, Dave.” Klaus took another deep drag and tried to stop trembling so much. “And they’re not all like that either. A lot of them are scared or angry and just want to lash out at the next person they come across. I guess they are just people, like you said. People who don’t know how to deal with their shit, much less their deaths. Apparently you don’t just get 100 hours of therapy bestowed upon you when you die.” Klaus gave a chuckle to try to lighten the mood. He was starting to feel like he’d ventured too deep into the abyss and couldn’t find his way out. Humour had always been his lifeline. Humour and drugs. He took one last drag and then dropped the joint to the ground, putting it out with his toe. “Anyway, we’d better get back.”

Dave rested a hand on Klaus’ shoulder. It was warm and comforting. He felt steadied by that strong hand, like it could stop his trembling the way it might stop a coin from spinning by resting upon it. “Yeah, let’s head back” Dave agreed. He didn’t remove his hand, but slid it along so that his arm wrapped around Klaus’ shoulders. Klaus wrapped his arm around Dave’s waist.

“I do think your dad’s at peace” Klaus said as they made their way back to the tent. “For whatever that’s worth.”

“Thanks Klaus. I think so too.” Dave stopped as they were approaching the tent. Klaus was beginning to feel calmer. The warmth of Dave’s touch anchored him somehow. Dave turned to look at him. “I really appreciate what you did for me, exposing yourself to them so you could listen to my dad. It means a lot to me.”

Klaus waved him off. “Yeah, sure, I mean it’s fine. Really.”

“You’re a good friend, Klaus.” Dave’s expression was so earnest and so caring and his voice so gentle and his words so pure that it almost made Klaus weak in the knees. Klaus had never been called a good friend before. Hell, he’d never even had a friend, outside of his siblings if they counted, not that they’d ever called him a good friend either. He was Dave’s boyfriend, he knew, but the word friend felt just as warm and loving and beautiful coming from Dave. “If there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know. I mean… I want to be able to do something for you. I…” A quick sideways glance at the tent and a lowering of his voice. “I love you, y’know. I just want to make you feel as good and as positive as you make me feel. About… everything.”

Klaus chuckled. “Sure, of course” he said, having no intention of taking Dave up on that offer. But there would come a night, when Klaus would run out of weed and the voices would get too loud, and he’d ask Dave to read one of his books aloud to him until he fell asleep, to drown out the voices. And as he would focus on Dave’s strong, gentle, beautiful voice, the thought would occur to him that maybe, someday, it could be possible to deal with all this without the drugs.


End file.
